Raising children is a hard job and I don't think anyone will argue with that fact. How we raise our children will have a great impact on how they "turn out" as adults.  There are so many difficulties involved with raising children especially since each of us was raised differently and bringing ideas and opinions together (those of husband, wife, parent, grandparent, neighbor etc.) can make for an extremely challenging and confusing job—who's right?

I often think about the traditions that families have developed over time.  In my family, we always opened our Christmas presents on Christmas Eve. My husband's family always opened them on Christmas day, never a day before.  Small differences like these are good examples of how different methods of raising children can cause arguments between parents.  Does the day in which we open Christmas presents matter? Was one family right and one family wrong?  Probably not. Each of our families has just decided what works best for them.

Parenting can be looked at in some of the same ways. Over time, families develop their best ways of raising children. There are many good parenting techniques and a variety of blended techniques that are passed along from one family to the next.

1. Be consistent.  When a child is 2 or 3 you definitely need to tell them "No" more than once or twice (usually thousands of times) to help them understand the concept.  If you only said no a few times, can you imagine the mixed messages your child would get as they get older.  I find myself saying, "No" more often than I say, "Yes."  I always give a reason for my answer so my kids understand why I would say no. I wouldn't call myself a mean parent but rather a parent that is concerned with helping my children understand that they are not going to get everything that they ask for.  Besides, most of the things that they ask for are not necessary and usually the kids don't think before they start asking. They just ask, for askings sake, to see what happens.
2. Parenting takes work. Even if you are tired, you still must pay attention and watch what your child is doing, the words they are saying, the friends they are spending time with.  I find that you must be aware of how your children are feeling at all times.  The pre-teen years are emotional ones. One minute they can be happy and the next minute upset.  It makes good sense to sit down with your kids at the end of each day and ask them how everything went during their school day. What were the highlights how was lunch, is there anything that you want to talk about? These are all good questions to ask that might open up more discussion. If you don't ask, the kids may not give out any information freely. Remember, the kids DO want to be asked about their day. It makes them feel important and cared for and it will also help with their development.
3. After more than eleven years of parenting experience, I have found that the best way to raise a child is through having an open and fair parent/child relationship.  Treat your children with respect and be open with them. My husband and I work very hard to talk to the kids instead of at them.  We ask their opinions and when we ask for their opinions we are "really" interested in learning their thoughts and ideas. Once a child knows this, they are much more interested in discussion and sharing their ideas because they understand that what they have to say really does MATTER.  This builds a great deal of confidence and self worth in a preteen who is trying to figure out what kind of person they will become.